Since March, I’ve been stationed at my kitchen table, zooming through my days on a bulky work-issued laptop. Most of my life reduced to an almost 15-inch screen. While I make music and art, my work in public health has taken extreme precedence during this time. As a deputy of health for Los Angeles County it has been month after month of focus on Covid-19 related issues, balancing personal exhaustion and despair with the simple duty to keep working.
I started doodling during meetings, allowing my thoughts and feelings of anger, anxiety, fear, isolation, and cynicism — paired with moments of gratefulness and existential absurdity — to spill out in whatever way they wanted. If I hated humanity before, I truly despise it with a renewed complexity and heartbreak now.
Looking at these drawings makes me uncomfortable. Are they a reflection of my true internal workings or mere musings of all that is shitty in the world? I’m not sure I know where the line is drawn, or if I want to.
-Angela Seo
